Where's my retina scan?

I am so tired of all the user name and passwords in my life. Here it is the first of the month and I need to pay some bills. The problem is I cannot remember the user name OR password. Not only that, I cannot remember the answer to the stupid security question or the email address associated with the account.

•  I am not supposed to use the same password for everything
• I am not supposed to write it down
• I am supposed to clear my computer caches regularly
• I am not supposed to use any birthdays, anniversaries, childrens names, pet names, etc.

I have always thought that the idea of retina scans was way too invasive. Today I am ready to let them scan whatever they want just so I don't have to remember all that junk. Maybe.